We often think of using essential oils to support health and wellness but they can also be used so beautifully to make our loved ones comfortable towards the end of their life and support us too as we prepare for them to leave us. The oils that I'm going to talk about below will not interfere with medication and the aim is to make them comfortable. The nice thing as well about using aroma is that it creates a beautiful aromatic memory for us as well that can anchor us with our loved ones for months and years to come following their passing.
Not only will these oils and blends give your loved one comfort but they will also help comfort you. It isn't easy seeing someone you love pass away and there is no shame in feeling it is difficult. I have been privileged and I do consider it a privilege to be at the end of life of many of my patients and also several of my family as well. I have been told by family members that they couldn't have done it and they have appreciated the fact that I've been able to and it's something that I can do and I also understand that it's something that not everyone can cope with it. Everyone of us is different and it's important to recognize that.
So a couple of things you'll need first of all is a diffuser and roller bottles to make up the oils as well as carrier oil - I like fractionated coconut oil as it is non-greasy and without an odour. Now there's several things that we do in medicine to support the dying I am an emergency medicine doctor but prior to that I worked on elderly care as well and so saw a lot of people at the end of the life.
There's several different things that we do for patients and I have drawn on that experience with the oils i have chosen.
First of all we want them to be pain-free, we also want their breathing to be good and because often people can have secretions as they pass, their breathing can be a little bit labored, the other thing we want is for them not to be agitated, we want them to have a peaceful transition.
So from a pain point of view there are some beautiful essential oils that can help soothe our bodies.
Combining marjoram, wild orange, peppermint, basil, cypress and lavender together is great for soothing muscles and joints and it's a lovely one to relax as well. You can apply it topically over areas of pain but also it's equally lovely just to massage it into the hand. A nice way to blend it would be 3 drops of each in a 10ml roller bottle and topped up with fractionated carrier oil.
For respiratory support I absolutely love peppermint or cardamon. I think either individually or blended together they are just the most wonderful options. This is very nice rolled on the chest so that they are inhaling it to help ease congestion but also maybe a few drops on the pillow or in a diffuser placed near their bed or on a lava rock. I use this all the time when I have been feeling under the weather and I've used it for my pets and I've certainly used it with loved ones as well and I've seen how much it can open airways and help maintain clear airways.
For reducing agitation and assisting calmness for your loved one and yourself my favourite choices are Lavender, Frankincense, Magnolia, Sandalwood and Vetiver. I think these are all beautiful oils to use on their own or as a blend or your choosing they are all beautiful for relaxing and maintaining comfort and you can use them again in a diffuser, or apply them topically as a hand massage. Dilution ratio of 1:1 or a total of 15 to 30 drops in a 10ml roller bottle and topped up with fractionated coconut oil.
One thing I just want to add as well and this doesn't really relate to oils at all but as a doctor I have seen people sit by the bedside of their loved ones for hours barely moving because they don't want to be away from the chair when they're loved one passes and then they take that opportune moment to just pop to the loo at which point their loved one departs. Everything I have seen I truly believe that some people wait until their loved ones have left the room before they transition and I write this down because I think there could be an awful lot of guilt with relatives because they stepped away or they went home for a quick shower. It's just something I think is important to recognize .
One last thing, don't forget to chat away to your loved one - they always say the hearing is the last to go regardless of their apparent state of consciousness - talk to them, read a book, recite a favourite poem, play their favourite music as you hold their hand and share in the moment anchored in aroma.
I hope that helps if you've got any comments or you want more help to do let me know.